- You’re mad as hell and you can’t take it anymore! Lucky for you, you don’t have to.
- 6 Strategies to respond to someone who is angry
- 6 Ways the Most Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Anger | Psychology Today
- What does the Bible say about rage?
Categories: Anger Management. Ngomuso Precious. There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Method 1. Be mindful of the real source of your annoyance. The root of your anger may be internal or external. Internal sources of anger include perceived failures, injustices, and frustrations.
You’re mad as hell and you can’t take it anymore! Lucky for you, you don’t have to.
External sources of anger could be losses, teasing, or humiliation. It can be very easy to become mad at someone needlessly if you have a tendency to displace your anger or your bad mood. Taking your displaced anger out on other people is not a healthy way to manage your emotions or your relationships.
Write down the different things that are causing you to feel negatively or stressed.
Try to deal with each stressor or annoyance separately, rather than rolling them together all into one big stressor. How can I make it up to you?
6 Strategies to respond to someone who is angry
Let go of resentments. Holding onto resentments for things that happened in the past is a common reason for feeling mad at someone. Resentment is not healthy, and letting go of those feelings is the best way to move on. Realize that feeling resentment cannot actually change the past. Accept that you cannot control the actions or feelings of other people.
Forgive if you can forgive or try to forget if you feel that you cannot forgive.
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Consider whether you have unexpressed expectations. You might feel mad at another person for doing or not doing something that you expect them to do. However, she may have no idea that you expect her to do that thing! If you feel like someone is not meeting your expectations, try voicing those expectations and having a conversation about whether they are reasonable. She may not realize that she is expected to pay into the fund or you might find out that she has a sick child and many medical bills. Having a conversation about your expectations instead of letting yourself feel mad can help strengthen your relationship with her.
Develop empathy. One of the best ways to avoid getting mad at someone is to truly understand where she is coming from through understanding.
Getting to know someone better and digging deeper into why she may act a certain way can help you feel empathetic towards her. Compassion will usually override feelings of anger or annoyance. Practice gratitude. Think about all of the things that she contributes to your life and allow yourself to feel grateful for all that she does. Keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to make a habit of practicing gratitude.
Remember to HALT before you speak. For example, if your husband gets home late and you feel mad at him, before you express that anger, think about yourself first. Realize if you feel hungry, angry, lonely, or tired and think about whether those factors are influencing your feelings towards your husband. Eat something, relax on the couch for a few minutes, then ask him about why he is late. Method 2. Differentiate between ways of communicating. Passive behavior can often lead to secret revenge or other negative behaviors known as passive-aggressive behavior.
Aggressive outbursts can also be paired with violence. Assertive communication is a healthy, respectful way to address and confront the person or situation that is causing you to become angry. Part of assertive communication is acknowledging that your needs as well as the needs of the other person or people involved are important. This takes the focus off of you and shows that you are appreciative of the needs of others. Use respect when communicating. Treat the other party with respect, acknowledging that he has a side to the story as well.
Be clear and specific with requests. Remember to think of any actions you would like the other party to take as requests, not demands. This will help you word your request appropriately. It is important that you are specific and that you do your best to stick to the actual facts. Express your feelings.
While you do want to provide factual information, it is okay to include the way that you feel when you are expressing your anger. I feel pressured to make everything perfect all the time, and this is stressing me out. Seek a solution to the problem. Ideally, you and the party to whom you are expressing your feelings can collaborate on a solution to the problem that is making you angry.
Are you not speaking up for yourself? Are you being compliant instead of honest? Are you ignoring your deeper feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, or helplessness over a person or situation? Have you ever exploded on someone and then been shocked by your own behavior? Sari Chait tells BuzzFeed. Taking note of your thoughts and feelings is also important.
Are you unable to think clearly? Do you have tunnel vision? Write these things down, then clock them when they start to show up in your body; to help the fires die down in the moment, take deep breaths or leave the room.
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- it sounds like you were angry.
- Meglio qui che in Paradiso (Italian Edition).
- They avoid being passive-aggressive at all costs..
Common body areas include shoulders, arms, hands, legs, and feet. Have you ever been in the midst of a fight with a partner when suddenly they crack a joke and it instantly makes you feel lighter? Depending on the seriousness of the argument, this can be a recipe for disaster. But sometimes it really helps. Are you hungry?
6 Ways the Most Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Anger | Psychology Today
Are you tired or just not feeling yourself? So taking a minute to think about the true intention of a seemingly hurtful remark can cool a situation down pretty quickly. The fact that we were dating which is why I knew his salary just made it that much worse. My first response was to do nothing--but as Edwards warned, that just left me feeling more and more terrible.
My next idea was to look for another job, and I went on a few job interviews. I didn't get any of the jobs that I applied for, though I came close a couple of times. But I didn't really want any of them--they all seemed less appealing than the job I already had. Finally, I walked into my boss's office and, stammering a little, explained that I knew about the new hire's salary though not why I knew. I said it was unfair and that I should be paid more. To my surprise, my boss agreed that I was underpaid.
I'd spent weeks tearing my hair out because I thought my work wasn't valued. It turned out there had been no need.
What does the Bible say about rage?
But there have been plenty of times since then when I handled it the wrong way, and I'm sure there will be plenty more. The same is probably true for you. But I'll remember as often as I can to state why I'm angry, say what I want, and back up my request with facts. What about you? Like this column? Sign up to subscribe to email alerts and you'll never miss a post. The opinions expressed here by Inc. More from Inc.