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It turns out that it is illegal to treat for bed bugs unless a bed bug can be found. At this point Elysha and I had lost our minds. Over the phone, she explained our problem.
Express Yourself! Teen Radio
She was asked if she was suffering from post-partum depression. She was told to stop reading the horror stories about insect infestation on the Internet. She was emotional, and rightfully so. Her three-year old daughter and infant son were being bitten by some unseen insect, and no one was able to do a thing about it. Clara was tearing into her skin from her scratching, and Charlie was covered in a rash. She had a right to be upset. We had no idea what to do. We had begun talking about selling the house, throwing away everything we owned and starting over. Six weeks earlier, I had brought the dog to the vet for an allergy flare-up.
Kaleigh suffers from seasonal allergies quite often, so the vet thought nothing of this latest attack and administered the standard treatment and prescribed the standard medication. In fact, she had stopped sleeping on the bed weeks before and eventually stopped coming upstairs altogether.
The cat had also taken to sleeping on my desk instead of his customary cushion in our room. The vet examined her skin and was surprised to find that she was not responding to the allergy treatment as she had so many times before. I explained that we thought she was being bitten by the same thing that was biting us, and that he skin was probably reacting like ours.
After examining a skin scraping under the microscope, he confirmed that Kaleigh was infected with a mite that causes the canine version of scabies, and we were reacting to these mites as well. The vet explained that the mite infecting Kaleigh is exceptionally rare and typically found on foxes and other wild animals. It is what gives them their mangy appearance. The only way to contract this mite is to come into direct contact with an infected animal. Other than perhaps the sniffing of an occasional dog who we pass on the streets, there is no way that she could have come in contact with a wild animal.
The veterinarian also explained that it is one of the worst things that can happen to an animal. As the vet was explaining this condition to me, I was texting the news to Elysha, who happened to be on the phone with the state entomologist. She ordered that slides of the skin scraping be brought to her office first thing in the morning.
Huge long white hair. I also have a whisker that periodically appears on my chin but I never see it growing; I only see it when it bursts forth in its glory like a goatee from hell. That ones all coarse and black so its not even basically-invisible like my cheek one. Not even kidding. And I found long one of those thin, whispy, mutant hairs growing out of my shoulder recently. Feel better? My skull is so lumpy, that when I have had people feel the weird divets in it, they ask me if I was thrown around like a rag doll as a child.
Playing with my belly button makes me have to pee. I just push like I did when I was in labor! Gross, but not more gross than touching a dirty tampon, right? I get one of these on my neck under my chin. The first time I found it I was It was long. I freaked out. Now I notice it growing every other week or so and pluck it immediately. One other time I had a single white hair growing out of my eyelid. Valerae recently posted Farewell Monty. Far away.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted Nothing says I love you like a bucket of sloths…. Occasionally find one growing out of my right jawline. No idea how it gets to be so long. I tend towards weird hairs and I keep watch for them. Then BANG! Three inches. And I now have one white lower eyelash. My mom often complains of big stray hairs growing out of her neck. Just moments ago, I went to the washroom, and after I was done, I was washing my hands and I had a massive unexpected attack of sneezes. Also not nearly as cool as being a unicorn.
JIll recently posted Yes, I had a reservation? Pity party for one? Sometimes brown. It never grows longer than a centimeter, but does grow out over night! Happy Valentine's Day! I have a completely white patch on my left ankle. David recently posted Having Staff. Damn it, I always get the shitty end of the stick. My superfine, fast growing white hair grows out of the side of face. I want to be a limp unicorn too. I have about six black witch hairs that grow out of my chin and neck. Just like your horn, they magically appear out of nowhere and are suddenly 3 inches long. And they never appear at the same time.
I have one massive black one that comes out of the inside of my elbow. I wear fake toenails on my big toes because my real ones are hideously deformed due to ingrown toe nails when I was a teenager. Mel recently posted Oh, how times change! I have two birthmarks. Corinne recently posted The Arrow - [Scriptic]. My husband and I both get those, although mine are usually more off to the side, like half-way between the mid-arch of my eyebrow and my hairline. I have a mutant arm hair right where my elbow bends.
My sister has one in the same spot. I have a mole. Nay- a beauty mark above my lip. This beauty mark goes from zero to Wicked-Witch-of-the-West overnight. And what?!? Next time take a picture then pluck. I bruise like a peach. I know that may not seem weird to you, but as a child I think more than one complaint was filed with CPS because strangers thought my parents were beating me. Julie recently posted This morning, Captain Energy.
Anna recently posted Happy Valentine's Day! I have a mole on my right arm that four hairs grow from. Not one hair. Not fifteen hairs. Four hair. And when I shave it, four grow back. I had ONE eyelash that just kept on growing. Alli recently posted Crunchy Poppers in Phyllo Shells.
Jenny you are sooooooo not alone!! Sadly mine was smack dab in the middle of my cheek, same thing over night the crazy 3 inch long hair was just there! Ewww I completely freaked out! AND as if that is not bad enough oh no, I get the same thing only its dark counter part, a 3 inch long jet black hair growing out of the side of my neck on the other side! And I really hope you read this lol.
This is why I love this place and everyone in it. The level of acceptance is unparalleled.
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- HOLY SHIT, WHY IS THERE A THREE-INCH WHITE HAIR ON MY FOREHEAD? | The Bloggess.
Thank you Jenny! I am laughing so hard right now. I pulled it thinking it was a piece of thread and oh holy shit no, that little fucker was attached. Carolina recently posted My parking brings all the guards to the yard. Oh, and something weird about my body: all of a sudden, one of my fingernails has started growing. It curls under at the tip, so now I have an excuse to keep them all short!
I could never be a drug dealer. Mine would be less scraper and more scooper. When I was 16 I suddenly found an i-inch white hair growing on my arm. I proudly remember it as my first white hair but after some time it disappeared. It never appeared back. You are not alone. My husband has this one long hair that grows right out the eyeball of his tattoo. It is disturbing. Every time I see it, I have to pluck it out and he insists that it is attached to his spinal cord…..
I get the long white hairs overnight, too, but on my chin, just like little old lady hairs. My husband uses a barber, an actual barber, why? Well first it helps him feel manly which apparently he needs since his balls are nicely tucked away near my ice maker. A real barber has what most of us would call hedge clippers, and tin snips.
ThePeachy1 recently posted Customer Service. This morning my 3yo and I were naming body parts. Nose, nostril, eyelid, etc.. I have a magically-appearing clear ok, very faintly silver … Ok, ok, white! It visits me about once a year. I get those too. I also have so much chin hair, my husband says if I grew it out it would look like the beard of a old Chinese man. Count your blessings girl. I have a hair that grows under my eye — like the place you put concealer on to cover dark circles.
I have to pluck it like once a week. I had one on my arm once. Didnt happen overnight but it was 6 inches long when I decided to end the tyranny of its reign. I totally get those growing out of my shoulders. Like freakishly long hairs. I never thought about hair being made of the same things as fingernails and horns. All these years of plucking those hairs out, I probably would have had wings by now. So yesterday I walked over to the local nail salon because my claws needed to be sawed down a bit.
Then the lady started looking at me and begging to wax my eyebrows. I now have about half an eyebrow left on my entire face. I totally just choked on my banana. I get these growing from my arms! Brought it up in conversation once and got looked at like a crazy person. Left wrist is larger. MsDarkstar recently posted An Interview with an Author. Holy shit! You must be developing your mutant powers. Soon I am sure you will look like Rogue and they will whisk you off to join the X men.
I have noticed lately that I have white eyebrow hair the fuckers point straight out too and now white eyelashes. I guess they match my Rouge white streak in my hair. Michele C. Carmen recently posted I'm a private dancer. Occasionally I get a white, very thick eyebrow hair that seemingly grows overnight out of only my left eyebrow…. I can only hope I will one day grow a unicorn horn…a much more regal phenom! Next time post a picture! Love your blog and your book! I feel like I need to rush to a mirror after reading how many others have experienced this!
That is just plain freaky. How does this happen? Then one day it just breaks through and boom! Instant hair! My husband has some really, really thick whiskers so one day I decided to tweeze them out. They were so long under the skin it freaked me out! It was barely any stubble on the top and yet underneath the surface was this long thick hair! Oh, and I get little blackheads on my areolas.
Is that strange? And, yes, they go from not-there to 2 inches long overnight. It goes away eventually but my first reaction was similar to yours… Unicorn! Invest in an excellent magnified mirror and put your makeup on by a window with natural light. Now, if you start growing a tail, I would be concerned. Rhana recently posted Happy burning effigy day. About four years ago, I had a four inch hair randomly appear on my lower back. So, it may never come back! Crystal recently posted Ramble.
For as long I can remember I have had a long white hair that grows out of my right cheek. Used to have one that would continually reappear every few weeks on the middle of my spine back when I was in middle school. I did find one on my cheek the other week and freaked the fuck out when I found a few more hiding in my hairline. Or, at least, I will be twenty-five next week. Jenny, you were supposed to leave it!!
Quick, make a rainbow in your house sunlight through a 2-liter bottle filled with water and see if you can walk on it a little. I have a little mole on my left arm. I also have a long dark hair that grows on the same side of my face my Mom had a mole with hair growing. There, two for one. Apparently my unicorn horn wants to grow out the side of my boob…… one day nothing and the next morning BAM!!!
I have two granulomas in my breast and one finally abscessed and ruptured and now I have boob puss. Feel better now? Miranda recently posted Fever and Ague. My sister totally gets these! She gets them on her forehead and out of her cheeks. I will have to let her know that she is part of a group of select people who get to be transformed into unicorns and that she should just let them keep growing.
She never wants to do anything fun…. I had an eyelash in my eye so I asked a friend to help me get it out. She found the lash and tried to lift it out of my eye, only to find it was a long, white eyebrow hair. I keep my eyebrows shaped and trimmed but this one rogue eyebrow hair had grown overnight and swirled all the way down to my eye. Heather recently posted Sally Blake's Pumpkin Cake. I blame hormones. Turned 40 and developed the single chin hair as well as one that grows out the side of my neck. Melanie J. My irises have freckles. For reals.
The retina in my right eye even has a mole. I or make that my optometrist even has pictures of it. As a matter of fact, every year she dilates my pupils to the size of dinner plates and makes me practically roll my eyes in the back of my head just to get MORE pictures of it. Alyssa S. My friend just went to a reiki class and it was based on who your spirit animal was. She said it comes to you in a vision. She is going to be sooo jealous! Your assessment is right on.
You can now add clairvoyant to your list…and check it off. Have had many of those random long hair things appear…always nice when friends or romantic partners find it first. In my experience, even after you tweeze it, it will grow back again in that same spot. Sometimes immediately, sometimes it will take a hiatus.
So be vigilant. Thank god it only happened with my husband, who by now is totally used to my weirdness. But I still replay that awkward tug on my bottom lip, my eyes going wide with shock, and his absolutely inability to know HOW to react to the situation. I have a mole in the back of my head, the middle, nestled snuggly under all of my hair. Arnebya recently posted Sometimes. Just the laugh I needed! I had one of those growing out the side of my ear for idn a couple of yrs until it went away.
And it would pop out long and fully grown, just like the one on your forehead. I get the white hair thingy on the back of my ear. It appears whenever it damn well pleases. I also get those horrible little black chin hairs. I prefer to call them stray eyebrows. That way I feel better about them being on my face. Ya know what I mean? I have one eyelash on my left eye that likes to grow longer than all the rest. I trim it or else it looks like a loose eyelash and people try to grab it off. It fell out once and I thought Finally! It came back.
Back to trimming. Charla recently posted Viva La Vivo. My husband and I were getting ready to go to the beach. I had him spray my back side with sunscreen. He thought it was a loose hair.. I have a long white hair that grows out above my right eyebrow. I first noticed it while I was in college. Who am I to keep them from their dream? So I let it grow, because why not. Once, when I was getting a haircut, the stylist wordlessly snipped it.
I get weird long white hairs that grow on a few places on me — mostly upper arms and one on my stomach. Fern Kali recently posted Marriage. Please say yes…. Maybe google worry hair! I was shaving my legs in the shower and noticed on the back of my ankle a piece of hair. I naturally thought it was from my head, I proceeded to take it off. Imagine my surprise when I fucking hurt…. You are telling me I missed shaving the same exact spot long enough to allow a strand of leg hair an inch long?! I had one of those mini bumps on the forehead might be a pimple, boil, ingrown hair or just a raised whatever.
Well, managed to after a few minutes of squeezing and pressing and looking very closely to extract it. But as I did it seemed to be deep-rooted and did not want to let go. Yanked it and felt to grab on for dear life before withdrawing it. Examined it and almost sent it to a lab to have it analyzed. Then I think to myself, now I cannot be tracked I removed the bio-electronic tracking device.
I can move freely about my business. Ok, first few sentences are true. Let me be honest about that. The rest slightly exaggerated, but I still have the ziploc bag with the little bugger in it. Just in case. About twice a year, my upper lashes become very short, and the lower lashes grow long. Its like they switch places.
I mentioned it to my dr once and he looked at me like he was about to prescribe some anti-psychotics. I get one of those in my left eyebrow and the back of my left arm. Simone recently posted Does a title entitle you to act like a chump?
Recap #57: Bad Blood #2: Hunters’ Moon by Debra Doyle and James Macdonald
I can wiggle my ears, cross my eyes and touch my nose with my tongue….. Random, but that takes some real damn talent!!! I have a somewhat small but totally noticeable birth mark right on the crease my inner thigh. My husband told me that the first time he saw it he thought I was just dirty, but after seeing it a few times he realized it was permanent, LOL. White one on my forehead. Two black ones on my chin. A small white one on my cheek.
His eyebrows went crazy. He has hair growing out of everything except his head. It is hilarious to see.
Mine is on my arm. My son has one on his jaw line. My daughter has one on her chin. I also have one on the front if my calf noo… the one that is part of my LEG.. Am I right? Oh puh-leeeze… Like you shave your legs just because.. Ohhh… right right right right riiiight…. I forgot. My 13 year old daughter had one on her cheek about a year or so ago.
We cuddle every night and one night I touched her cheek and there it was. We screamed and giggled and freaked out before we plucked it. Milaka recently posted A Slippery Facebook Slope. I get a really long white hair growing out of the left side of my face. It also springs up virtually overnight. Gin recently posted Communication Breakdown. A week ago. Jaime recently posted A Valentine's Day Manifesto?
Or something? I totally freaked, thinking that this mutant hair had been growing for months without me noticing. I much prefer to believe that it showed up overnight. Rachel recently posted Kaddish. I have had two kids and even after I lose the weight, I have loose skin hanging in my lower abdomen. Unfortunately, one side of the loose skin hangs much lower than the other. WTF, right? Oh the joys of having children.
At 35 and someone who found her first gray hair at 18 years old yes I kid you not and my grandfather also grayed prematurely , I have lost count all the gray hairs on my head now. I just thank god for hair dye!!! I always random, weirdly long hair between my boobs. My darling partner gets a similar hair on the right side of her neck. The first time I noticed it was in the middle of a sidewalk in a small town square…. I, mean.. Alex recently posted Something New. Marinka recently posted Love. Sharon tipped me over the edge. Catherine recently posted Cabin fever - pinch pots.
I also have the smelly earhole thing. Hair follicle my ass. Being human is fun, no? I found one of those too!!!! What a weird place for a hair to grow right!?! In the moment after I sneeze, I am filled with rage. It subsides quickly, but is very real while it lasts. Jen recently posted Valentine's Day I have several super-long hairs on the backs of my thighs.
The upside is I live in Washington where summer lasts about a minute so I hardly ever wear shorts. Shannon recently posted Faking It On Facebook. I get the same thing every month or so but it grows out of my left earlobe. Seriously freaky stuff. When I read this, one name came into my mind: Ionesco. We may be at the beginning of a plague, here. Not to alarm you or anything. I have no pinky toenail on my left foot. Makes pedicures interesting.
Most of the time I just paint over the skin patch where the nail should be. Welcome to the unicorn club! Possibly earlier, but discovered at Oh, and if you go to Taiwan or China, the teenagers there are obsessed with different colors of hair, and will be mesmerized by the streak as well.
I have one that grows on my neck. Been happening for several years now. I feel better knowing many other people have pet hairs. It just sprung out suddenly. My husband has one eyebrow hair that is the entire length of his eyebrow. I try not to think about it, butsmetimes, when we get close, it catches my eye. I have that, too! I think my real parents might have been apes. I have the same problem! All of a sudden, there it is.
I use to get this one really thick hair on my left hand. No one wants a strange hair in a strange place. One summer, after clambering about in the garden the day before, I went for my yearly checkup with my OB. Yes, the perils of gardening…. Wendy recently posted Candlelight Vigil. Also, thank you for being so bold as to share your bodily oddity. I get two dark black hairs that pop out near my right nipple. I have to pluck them out about every three months. Which is not fun to beautify. Mel recently posted Kumquat. An ex BF had a crazy eyebrow hair.
I take rat poison on purpose. I think about that a lot. Liesl recently posted Small revolutions. Not fall over. Like my muscles are a rubber band and it just snapped. I told him he was growing a third eye and if he plucked it out the eye would go blind. While I have never had the honor of having a spontaneous forehead hair, I do have one that sprouts up on my belly! Also, you should know that rhino horns are made out of hair, so perhaps this is indeed the start of your unicorn horn.
Perhaps leave it next time and see what happens? I have one of these, only not in the center of my forehead. Mine is kinda off to one side of my forehead, about an inch or so from my hairline. But in general, this is a well-riffed experiment for its era, as the crew has particular fun with the overbearing narrator who seems to want to become an on-screen character in the movie. Note: Servo looks considerably different in this episode, as the show was briefly experimenting with changing his distinctive gumball machine head shape to reduce its obstruction of the screen in the theater.
The Indestructible Man initially feels promising, like a lost Universal horror movie thanks to the presence of star Lon Chaney Jr. An old-fashioned serial that is uncomfortably reminiscent of Commando Cody in terms of visual quality in particular, it definitely hurts the overall ranking of this otherwise amusing experiment. Oddly enough: Lon Chaney Jr. The crew has particular fun with the shoddy design of the creature how could they not?
It may not be true, but it would certainly explain a lot. But I digress. Few films in the MST3k canon can claim to offer a more comprehensive course on bad film editing than Devil Fish. The plot concerns a beer-swilling scientist dude and a disturbingly thin dolphin trainer woman as they search for a government-engineered sea monster that has broken loose from captivity and embarked on a bloody rampage. I also get a kick out of the kooky ending credits sequence, as the bots randomly start tittering and continue to disturbingly cackle at nothing in particular for 90 seconds while Mike just sits there in silence.
This is another one of those episodes with an instantly forgettable feature that is elevated by its excellent short—one of the few in the Mike era of MST3k! But ultimately, the short completely steals the show on this one. Trace Beaulieu has sadly departed as Dr. F, and thus as the voice of crow. The network mandated at this point that the show needed to have an ongoing storyline, which somewhat hurt the quality of the host segments and especially the ability to watch episodes out of order , but this requirement was largely dropped by the start of season 9.
Highlights include the comatose monster, who spends the first part of the film bobbing face-down in the water, and of course the first-ever screen appearance of a young Clint Eastwood. This is his first and last movie. Eye Creatures is inexplicable on every level. F and Frank, meanwhile, are up on the SOL, and Trace Beaulieu in particular is brilliant in the way he satirizes the prior earnestness and positive disposition of Joel in particular. We even get a full fourth of the film a fairly bland western riffed by the Mads instead of our normal cast, who sit on the opposite side of the theater in true Mirror Universe fashion.
This entire first quarter is the highlight, as Dr. Crash of the Moons is the slightly superior example of two episodes made from combined Rocky Jones, Space Ranger episodes, but like Manhunt in Space this is the rare episode that is actually lowered rather than improved by the presence of a short. But alas, there is quite a lot of fiddling. King Dinosaur is the first ever Bert I. Gordon movie featured on MST3k , but far from the last. The episode is improved, though, by the presence of truly bizarre short X Marks the Spot , which follows a dumb lump of man named Joe as he appears in heavenly traffic court to answer to the angels about his poor driving record.
So long, Gyps! If only the movie had starred Richard Basehart, perhaps should would have stuck around longer. Their first assignment, Rocketship X-M , is perfectly emblematic of the cheap sci-fi films of the Joel years—black and white astronauts lost in space, flirting, crashing and dying. Like other classic comedies such as The Simpsons , season 2 is a quantum leap forward.
The riffers have a whole lot to work with while tearing into the southern-fried performances, particularly those of the town tramp and her rotund, shotgun-toting husband, and the predictably bland leading man who arrives to oppose the dreaded threat of leeches. Get these guys on staff full time, writing new MST3K musical numbers! Uncle Jim is an edgy man, who should not be riled. Out of ideas for your thriller movie? Why not make another adaptation of The Most Dangerous Game?
I love the way the riffers tear into its sincere praise of country life and the dairy industry—very sarcastic, very cynical. Bloodlust is also notable as an episode for the first introduction of Dr. In terms of looks alone, the movie appears about 10 years older than it is. I also love the Mads invention exchange in this episode, which is human-sized tupperware designed to keep aging pop stars fresh. Is it wrong not to always be glad?
Deeeeeep … hurting! As for the rest, the episode is a bit up and down—I like Alan Steel as Herc more than the sleepy Reg Park in Hercules and the Captive Women , but there are too many palace scenes full of dialog that goes nowhere and not enough Herc smashing stuff. However: I have to give it points for one of my favorite MST3k stingers ever, with the old man who randomly gets impaled by a spike trap while trying to lead Hercules to freedom. Stepping into the hot seat was of course the wonderful Mike Nelson, who had already been with the group as head writer ever since the beginning of the Comedy Channel days.
Poor old Ed Wood. It was made in the time period after the spectacular failure of Plan 9 , when the enthusiastic but naive Wood was sliding into alcoholism and depression, and that certainly shows on screen. Overall, a solid episode, but I place the other Ed Woodian efforts just a bit higher. Racket Girls is another perfect example of an episode I hardly know how to rate, because it begs the question: How much is a world-class short worth to the overall ranking?
If we were only watching this slow, tedious film about women pro wrestlers! This is one of the very best shorts in MST3k history, revolving around the timeless love affair of Larry and Sue, whose rock-solid foundation is sure to last clear on through high school and into a long and productive marriage. Mike and the Bots do what they can, but the main course is forgettable. Watch it for the amazing short. Another tough episode to rate, for the same reasons as the preceding Racket Girls —very painful movie albeit with moments of greatness , coupled with a classic short.
The feature, meanwhile, is a thick slab of camp that attempts to capitalize on the similarly silly Batman: The Movie and fails horrendously. You will love radar. Give yourself up to it freely. All well and good, but has a film forcibly shown to high school drivers or people in court-mandated defensive driving courses ever had any actual IMPACT on a driver? It seems doubtful. If you like your films and riffs to be dry, cynical and encased in a stuffy governmental shell, then Radar Secret Service is the episode for you. At least that was the solution here, in a film that feels like the red-headed stepchild of all the other Hercules movies featured on MST3k.
It all lends itself to solid, but perhaps laid-back riffing that pokes fun at the headhunters and the all-encompassing lack of charisma possessed by My Cheese Steak. This episode ends up being equally memorable for the running thread in the host segments, in which Dr. Watching the myriad reactions of each cast member to the irresistible force of nature that is Nummy Muffin Coocool Butter is a hoot. In general this is an episode that starts slow but then erupts in an unexpectedly violent, loony conclusion.
Spiritual Warfare Prayer: Breaking Generational Curses and Setting Captives Free
If voices could kill! One viewing of Alien From L. Wells-style trip to a civilization beneath the surface of the Earth. All in all, Alien From L. But if I never have to hear her again, it will be entirely too soon. Of the two Fugitive Alien entries, you have to give a slight edge to the first, if only for being the source for one classic joke. MSTies will know that joke arises when someone tries to bump off our hero Ken by running him over with … a forklift! Legitimately one of the worst films ever made, Monster A-Go-Go can boast of featuring what might be the worst ending in monster movie history at the very least.
The riffing and sketches, though, are solid, focusing on its next-level cheapness, shoddy production design and complete absence of continuity. Good riffing, but a challenging film to enjoy. Wow, is this really our first Gamera movie on the list? They tend to blend together into one jumbled memory, full of giant monsters and shrill Japanese children in upsettingly small short pants … although this one is free from that particular annoyance.
Barugon himself is one of the stranger monsters in this series, as his two primary modes of attack are to either smack you with his tongue or shoot explosive RAINBOWS in your general direction. This is about the point in the season 11 rankings when we start taking some big steps forward in terms of quality. The entire thing is a relentless barrage of wacky subplots—in this one film, you have a hoax involving runway conditions, a team of criminals trying to pull off a huge heist, and a young boy who steals a plane off the runway for reasons involving his divorced parents.
But in short: Community of clones who are used as body parts for the societal elite find out their purpose and revolt. The film is yet another opportunity in the MST3k timeline for Crow to break out his well-honed Peter Graves impersonation, not missing a beat in the transition from Trace to Bill Corbett, and they naturally trample all over the legacy of the Biography host, who plays a corrupt politician endorsing clone hijinks.
The episode is notable for a veritable menagerie of guest stars—Jackie Coogan, Mr. Did you know that they can be used to place calls to other telephones??? In an odd inversion, the Phantom Creeps short is actually shown at the END of this episode instead of the beginning, which I personally think really messes up the flow of the episode.
The last thing you want after surviving a film the quality of Ring of Terror is to be presented with some bonus Phantom Creeps. Gamera vs. Check, check and check. There are terrorists, other giant monsters, including what I believe is supposed to be a huge condor, and even a Mothra appearance to cap everything off.
No movie in season 11 has more whiplash-inducing tonal swings than The Beast of Hollow Mountain , or a more insane reveal than suddenly sticking a T-Rex into a Mexican cattle ranching drama after more than an hour of pointless meandering has elapsed. Where else do you get to play a grieving, alcoholic single father for laughs? A dark, grimy, truly meanspirited film, Devil Doll assaults the senses with a general vibe that everyone involved with the production wanted nothing but terrible things for the unfortunate souls sitting in the audience.
The host segments, meanwhile, feature the return of the devilish Pitch from the Mexican Santa Claus film in episode , who turns Servo into a garish-looking, living Toaster Strudel for the entire final segment of the episode. Our quest into the heart of Gamera Country continues with Gamera vs. This one bears more than a little resemblance to Gamera vs.
Gyaos , except instead of a flying monster, this one is aquatic, and brought to Earth by a race of easily defeatable aliens whose craft looks a bit like a bowl full of jelly beans. Pretty cheeky, Mr. Blood Waters is a pug-fugly slice of monster movie, all dull, earthy colors and poorly articulated fish-man suits.
It definitely ranks among the worse monster costumes in MST3k history. The makeup of this film—post-apocalyptic, Mad Max -style action flick with Donald Pleasence and Fred Williamson—makes it sound like supreme MST3k material, but the results are only good rather than superb, likely because the film is so dull, fuzzy and unengaging. On the other hand, A Date With Your Family happens to be one of the greatest shorts in MST3k history, and reason enough to put on this episode all on its own. Did you know that MST3k once did a Lassie movie? The jokes at the expense of Jonathan, the grizzled old prospector archetype, are pretty solid, but the true star of the show in this episode is the short, Body Care and Grooming.
Well, maybe not ALL children—as usual in this one he seems to have no particular aversion to destroying cities that are presumably filled with children, but he does form a friendship of some kind with the turtle-obsessed and possibly deranged tyke known as Kenny. There are portions that drag a bit, contrasted with hilarious segments that hinge on weird bits of British dialog.
The 7-foot actor plays an alien named Kolos here, who comes to Earth in order to create a bunch of android pod people to replace prominent Earthlings.
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- Creating Old World Wisconsin: The Struggle to Build an Outdoor History Museum of Ethnic Architecture (Wisconsin Land and Life)!
Random observation: Mike appears in considerably more sketches in the Joel era than I ever realized. For five seasons, he was probably their most valuable bit-player before he became host. Try this opening on for size: A scientist is hit in the head by a tiny bit of meteor, which lodges in his skull.
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Instead, the chunk of space rock in his noggin somehow makes him transform into a killer lizard-man—but only when the moon is full, because sure, why not? Steeve Reeves, greatest of the Hercs! Jokes revolve around typical sources of humor—bathmat loin cloths, incomprehensible plotting and the general lack of intelligence in every incarnation of Hercules. As a group, they tend to be quite colorful, easy to watch, goofy and occasionally nightmare-inducing, showcasing the somewhat bizarre sensibilities of a foreign entertainment market that we as Americans know next to nothing about.
The Day the Earth Froze draws upon Finnish mythology and fairy tales to spin a zany story about the sun being stolen out of the sky by a wicked witch. See, my son is the editor. Try as they might to end the episode, Frank and Dr. F keep re-starting the end credits over and over and over.
The Phantom Planet is both silly and introspective; it takes itself considerably more seriously than anyone in the audience could possibly have matched. Campy special effects hold us over during the rocketry scenes, until eventually we meet a race of tiny aliens who are having problems with another race of aliens, who you know are evil because they look like humpbacked dog monsters.
Part 1. Ed Wood, huzzah! As in Plan 9 , the film features the legendary, weathered presence of Bela Lugosi, this time as a mad scientist, plus the bumbly, rumbly visage of Tor Johnson. Oh, the conversations that Ed and Tor must have enjoyed! The acting is atrocious, full of weirdo Ed Wood character actors, which gives Joel and the Bots plenty of ammunition. It stars one of his regulars, the tough Beverly Garland, who is made a temporary marshal after her husband, the previous marshal, is killed.
Bruno Ve Sota plays exactly the same kind of portly sleazeball that he was in Daddy-O —talk about typecasting. You just exist in one observable region in phase space, and then realign your point of origin! But every one of the sketches is memorable, and indicative of the wilder, more high-energy tone that came into the show after Mike became the host. The film itself is something of an impenetrable fog, but it features some very catchy, amusing theme music and more European mustaches than you can shake a stick at. F and Frank back in the earlier seasons in Deep Clearly, the Best Brains crew was already familiar with this particular story.
His complete and total helplessness is a source of consistent amusement, and he seems to exist only to weight everyone else down. Carnival Magic is quite easily the worst and most completely inexplicable film of season 11, and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. Sounds like some sort of lighthearted comedy, right? The movie veers in a completely different direction than any sane screenwriter would possibly recommend, into a den of sleaze, sex and the threat of vivisection for our talking ape friend, Alexander.
Oddly enough, the very first of the Hercules movies made was the last of the series watched by the SOL crew, but it makes for the best overall episode. As in Hercules Unchained , it stars the massive Steeve Reeves, Mightiest of the Hercs, with special effects and cinematography by legendary Italian giallo maestro Mario Bava, which goes a long way in also making it the most purely entertaining film in the series.
The riffs swirl around in a typical melange of quips about big, oily musclemen, wrestling and the doddering old senior citizens who cater to them. I particularly enjoyed the riffs comparing the vain, easily frightened Thetus, to Tom Jones throughout. The total abject devotion of all the other men toward Hercules is naturally hilarious.
BIG, Bert I. Gordon, with his everlasting passion for Things That Are Large. It really takes any sense of fear out of the spectacle of the foot Glenn Manning when all you can worry about is whether his dirty diaper is going to stay secure. Truly, one of the great, underrated film props in sci-fi history. A solid film, with a legendary short in the form of the inestimable Mr. Glen Manning survived his plunge off the Hoover Dam and somehow ended up down in Mexico without anyone noticing a foot man passing by.
Oh my, what a short this is. What follows is one of the trippiest, most twisted trips down the rabbit hole in the MST3k library, as the spritely Mr. B dances, cavorts and generally makes everyone feel extremely uncomfortable while teaching Buzz to play the trumpet. We get lessons on trumpet manufacture, introversion, substance abuse—you name it! Everyone needs to see Mr. Still, quite a mouthful from Roger Corman, who imagined a big budget action epic and then made the fairly dull Viking Women instead.
The riffing is a bit Hercules -esque, with the historically motivated jokes landing more often than they thud. Host segments, meanwhile, are very unique on this episode, experimenting with taking the concept of a running joke to its theoretical zenith, via … waffles? Both come from multiple episodes of the NBC action-adventure The Master , which unsurprisingly was canceled after a single season.
Master Ninja 1 is probably the slower of the two, but it does have the unusual honor of featuring a young Demi Moore in a fairly prominent role. As I described above, the two episodes tend to blend together in my mind, but I give a slight edge on the riffing to Master Ninja 2.